Hungry like the wolf
This could get messy, so strap in and leave your judgments outside. I'm going to talk about myself because I never do—like ever. Do I wear my emotions on my sleeves? No. I'm not an emotional person; I have no feelings. At least that's what I tell myself before I weep to sleep every night. But this isn't about that. So move past it.
I have a self-diagnosis of severe infatuations, or Limerence, if you want to get proper. I have no idea why, but since I was in grade school I've always had crushes and heartaches. Most of the time it was towards people I barely knew. Even today, my current crush has no idea who I am, and I have no idea who she is. She's probably married, but I'll deal with that heartbreak when the time comes.
It's important to note that my infatuations are not stalkerish. I don't stalk people. That is insanely invasive and creepy. Plus, I'm a gentleman and fully understand no means no. You all should understand that too. So Manu, sorry buddy but you and I are never going to happen, not willingly at least.
Now that we covered that, you're probably thinking, "oh Michael you're too dramatic" or "you don't even know her"; and yeah, sure, ok, but you are wrong. There is an attraction towards people that manifests itself inside us; and only you can explain it and understand. Maybe it’s my constant want to feel loved by another—but I’m never going to admit that—or maybe I’m just a lone wolf searching for my pack.
A wolf is an insanely interesting creature.
Not only beautiful physically, there is something so majestic and mysterious about them. Any yet, most people probably associate negative connotations with wolves: they are angry; they are mean looking; they have teeth; they bite; they eat meat; they should only be coats; they preyed on Little Red Riding Hood. You know, stupid shit like that. Duran Duran made matters worse by vilifying wolves as these womanizing predators, but the band came out to admit they have no idea what the lyrics mean. Classy. So, much like Philadelphians and that Duran Duran song, wolves are just misunderstood. Did you know wolves are one of the most loving and monogamous creatures on Earth? Well kids, now you do.
The lifespan of a wolf is highly disputed but experts seem to have settled they can live up to 13 years. In those years, a wolf has one partner whom they remain extremely faithful to. In fact, their entire wolf pack is their family. They do everything together, with mom and dad wolf being the alphas who reproduce every year. The entire pack travels together, hunts together, and eats together. They are even land owners, managing their territory of 25-100 miles. That is commitment and family values. It's the fairly tale family setting every human being desires.
Now, I'm sure you've heard of the expression: a lone wolf. You may be thinking how can this monogamous canine be associated with a loner. Well it's rather simple, a lone wolf is a wolf who is searching for a new partner. The only time a wolf leaves their pack is if their spouse dies. A lone wolf doesn't do solo activities by it's own volition, nor is it a socially awkward creature. A lone wolf is just a heartbroken beauty searching for new love. Leave it to dumb humans to misunderstand a lone wolf.
Maybe I'm just a dreamer or maybe I'm just really bad at understanding people. Maybe I don't have Limerence and just have extremely low serotonin. Who knows. But I do know that some find it weird for a guy to admit his feelings. Whatever. I'm not your stereotypical bro. I am an open book. I'll tell anyone anything they want to know. It's just who I am. I like conversation, but I suck at conversation with cute girls, so they rarely happen. So here is the prognosis.
I'm a believer in if you want something you have to work hard and go get it. There is nothing worthwhile in life that comes easy. So don't settle and know your worth. "What ifs" are way harder to live with than an actual answer, even if the answer is no. I'm done being a lone wolf and you all should be as well. Go out their and find your new pack.